You Are Here, Can You Get Others There?

"People will do something-including changing their behavior- only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their own best interests as defined by their own values."

Marshall Goldsmith

Most of us are looking for a way to make information sharing a more viable part of our work environment. We want to learn from others and we want others to learn from us, but we cannot force people to work together. We cannot force people to share with us. So if we cannot force people to work together, then what the heck can we do? We can start by affecting the only person we can control- Ourselves. We need to first change the way we attempt to change minds.

It is important to understand that before a person will change a behavior, they have to want to do so. The thoughts that most profoundly affect a persons' behavior are composed in mini maps of cause and effect. This means a person will have to be exposed to something that helps them think differently, because people choose their behaviors based on what they think will happen. The problem is many thoughts are incomplete or inaccurate, leading people to the inconvenient behaviors that cause some of the problems they currently experience. Our interpretations of events trump the facts of any situation. So remember that when we expose our colleagues to new ways of interacting they first ask two very simple questions:

1. Is this worth it to me?
2. Can I do this thing?

If we want to help people be more open to the idea of collaborating, we will need to change one or both of these expectations to YES! But how?

The most common tool we use to influence others' expectations is the use of verbal persuasion. When people trust our knowledge and our motives, they generally are open to our requests, but when a person is resistant to our ideas verbal persuasion rarely works. Whenever we use forceful persuasion to convince others to see things our way, they're probably not listening to what we are saying. Instead they are looking for every error in our logic and every mistake in our facts, all the while constructing counterarguments. So then what?

The great persuader is personal experience. Personal experience is the mother of all cognitive map changes. If this is not possible, then create a surrogate for actual experience. Create a vicarious experience. By watching what happens to others, people are able to experience the outcomes almost as if they were their own. If we want people to change their persistent and resistant view, drop verbal persuasion and come up with innovative ways to create personal experiences. This type of modeling is one of the most accessible influence tools a parent, coach, community leader, or executive can employ. It then becomes important to share these needed experiences with the right people.

Jim Collins speaks of the flywheel effect when starting the ball rolling and this concept is also true in creating a collaborative effort. We must begin to gain momentum by getting the informal power players within our circle of influence involved and excited about collaboration. They will become the salespeople that will help champion our cause within our schools or companies. Why? Because others value their opinion and are willing to listen to what they have to say and are more willing to follow their lead. Getting these informal leaders on our side will take time in the short-term, but will help the collaboration flywheel gain greater momentum for the long haul. By changing how and who we influence, we will be on our way to opening the lines for collaboration.